Anticipation

Our house is going to be pretty busy this week.  It is the week before spring break and some of us are pretty excited about that.  The five of us aren't going to be all together this break, but we should each have a lot to share with each other when we all get back together.  I think the only one that is going to miss out is Kaja, the Reigning Queen Kitty.  She gets to stay home, alone.



my living room after the 'big dump'



Josh is finishing up his spring break.  He came home a couple of weeks ago.  I still am not used to the fact that we are at that stage where the kids have different breaks.  I guess that is what happens when you have 1 kid in college, 1 kid in high school and another in jr. high.  At least the girls' breaks are the same even though they are in different school districts.  Next year Josh and Kirsten will have the same since it has been (almost) officially decided that she will be at SPU with big bro.  Still trying to figure out how we will pay for 2 in college, but that is ok.  It wil work out.

So, yes I digress. Josh is finishing his break. As reported earlier he returned home and emptied all of of his material possessions on the living room floor. From there they have been moved upstairs to his room and bonus room. Slowly he has been sorting. Wednesday morning he leaves for 10+ weeks in Europe. I think after he leaves I will be packing up a little bit more for him--otherwise, I fear that everything may stay where it is at until he returns to college in September. I'm excited for him to go and study abroad, but a little anxious too. His world will change after he experiences life in different countries. It did after spending time on mission trips in Mexico, so I am sure this will be no different. I'm excited to see what happens next. For now, we have just a couple more days of hearing French podcasts streaming from his computer.




the corner of our dining room



French movies--the things left around our house





unpacking?  or packing?  I can't tell.



I KNOW he has a system, but I wonder what is clean and what is dirty??




apparently, the weight set is a towel rack.

The rest of us are preparing to start our spring break.  We decided to do things a little different this year.  At first, Kirsten had been anticipating going on a trip with the high school Spanish class students.  They are planning a week+ to Costa Rica.  Kirsten thought about going, but the cost became something that she was having a hard time justifying--after all we told her she would be footing 1/2 the bill.  Then, we were hoping to organize another group to go to Mexico for a service trip.  When that fell thru, we had nothing big on the calendar for this year.  Then I did our taxes.  We were able to score another good size return this year, so I convinced Dean that he and Kirsten needed to take some of that money and go on a Father/Daughter trip.  After all, the debt we have amassed was being whittled down, slowly...what was a few extra months? If we wait to have everything paid off and never do anything, the kids will be gone and out of the house and we will have missed the opportunities to make memories with them. 

Kirsten has worked so hard and accomplished a lot in her life to date.  She has often gotten shuffled to the side with all the time and energy that we put into Annika and her care and therapy.  I wanted to let her know that we appreciated what a great kid she was and I wanted her and her Dad to have some good quality time together.  They get along so well...they are such a pair those two.  So, we did some checking and came up with a good option.  We booked a trip for the two of them to go to England.  The beauty was it was going to cost LESS than it would have cost for her to go alone to Costa Rica!  We were stoked.  Even though we knew that the decision to do this trip is ours and ours alone, we felt a little guilty.  What would people think?  We know that this is less than the 4 of us driving to Disneyland, or flying to Hawaii or a whole host of things, but if people hear they are flying to London, what will they think?  On the one hand we know it doesn't really matter, but on the other hand it DOES matter.  So we decided we would keep it a little under wraps.  If someone point blank asked us 'where are you going for Spring Break?', we would GLADLY answer, but if no one asked, then we weren't going to offer up any info--after all if they wanted to know they would ask, right?  If they don't ask, they don't care.  It is not that we were trying to be deceptive, we just didn't want people to think we were bragging.   And trust me, there were several times when I told people that Dean and Kirsten were going to go away for break and people never asked me where to, so my theory of they would ask if they cared was affirmed.  Still that nagging 'what will people think?' keeps bugging me.  We know this trip financially is not making a big dent, and even if it did that is OUR business.  We meet all our financial obligations, we are paying down our mountain of medical-related debt, we just feel that we should enjoy a little life at the same time.

The last week a few people have asked what we are doing and we have answered.  The reactions have been varied.  I think the hardest reaction is when people make a strange comment...i.e., 'oh you going to participate in the London protests?'.  Uh huh, we got that one.  What I hoped for was a  "that sounds great, I am glad you are able to do that." or a: "Oh good, Kirsten and Dean will have a fun time...glad they could do that."  Nope we get 'what about those protests?', and I am left feeling VERY awkward and that I need to justify our decisions.  Why do I do that to myself?  

So we are eagerly anticipating the amazing time that Dean and Kirsten are sure to have.  Annika is also VERY excited to have Spring Break alone with me.  Since we have to take them to the airport, we decided that we would stay a few nights downtown Seattle and have a good time together shopping and relaxing.  The last time just she and I were alone out of town, we were in Salt Lake City bringing her home from that dreadful Uinta.  Annika has never stayed downtown Seattle, so she is pretty stoked to stay in the midst of the city in a high rise.  I'm looking forward to no cooking, no work, and time spent swimming, reading, watching movies and yes, a little shopping. 

So it will be a different year for us.  Separate vacations.  For us, it is the way it needs to be right now.  To do extensive travel is difficult for Annika.  For Dean and I to be aware from her for more than 2 nights is also not on the books this year.  That is ok, it is just the stage that we are in with her therapy.  But, we are trying to balance all the factors and still enable us to have some special, memory making times in the process.  The last thing we want to do be sitting around with the kids 20 years from now and have them relaying stories about how we didn't get to do that much together when they were growing up.  Or WORSE that they blame Annika that we had some missed opportunities.  We have lived thru some rather stressful times the last 5 years and we have tried to find some balance with that--sometimes we failed and sometimes we succeed.  We know that we have been blessed with what we have been able to experience with the kids--our mission trips to Mexico, our family vacations to Hawaii, Mexico, California, the East Coast and places more local.  We know it is less than some families and more than others.  I just hope that the kids will be able to look back and have good memories of our times together, even when those times that involved things that were rather difficult.