Things to NOT say at work.

As I have discussed before, I have two work environments.  Job #1 I have had for many, many, many years.  This job involves managing a small office with an interesting cast of characters.  Job #2 currently involves doing bookkeeping for the church that we attend (I was also doing secretarial work, but I have been on a leave of absence for my foot surgery).  Both environments have their pluses and their minuses.  I need to be clear that this entry is about an incident at job #1.

I arrived at work this morning (job #1) and was greeted by my co-worker who told me she had something to share.  She informed me that this was going to fall under the category of ‘I had to hear it, so you have to hear it too, it is only fair’.  Oh boy, these kinds of things are NEVER good.  She proceeded to tell me that yesterday bossman #1 (which would be the one that signs my paychecks—or more accurately the one whose signature I forge on my paychecks—who is not to be confused with bossman #2 who shares office space but who has no input on said paycheck)  had shared some wonderful information with her.  It seems that bossman #1 was talking with her, and our other long suffering employee, about his recent illness.  It seems he went into vivid detail (and when I say ‘vivid’ I mean that while launching into a verbal discourse, he added physical actions to the dissertation).  I should back up to say that recently he and his wife flew to Palm Springs so that he could attend a conference.  A friend of his wife’s had joined them and the 3 of them shared a hotel room (ok, I know it IS weird for people that are in their 60s and financially solvent).  While they were there, he became violently ill and ended up in the hospital for a few days.  Back to the story…

ANYWAY, he informed my 2 office-mates that unfortunately for their friend, she got to seem him in all his naked glory as he crawled across the hotel room floor in an attempt to reach the bathroom before bodily fluids were forcefully emitted from all parts (have you seen ‘Bridesmaids’??---think ‘VOLCANO!’).  When they asked him why he had no clothes on, he informed them ‘oh I always sleep in the nude, if I had put the robe on, I would have puked on it’.  Uh-huh, of course!  Even when you and your wife and your wife’s friend are too cheap to each get your own hotel you decide it is still ok to wear NOTHING, and then you make matters even more awkward (revolting????) by crawling around nude on said hotel room floor AND THEN by telling your employees about it?????  I think I may have to insist that my 2 office-mates are given a paid day off so they can recover from the horror.

And this my friends is yet another example of something you don’t say at the office.