Anniversary Wishes

This past weekend we celebrated 24 years of marriage.  Every year we make a point of having AT LEAST 24 hours together, alone, to celebrate.  Some years that means a trip away for several days.  Some years that means 1 or 2 nights away.  Other years that has meant staying home (or at our cabin when we had that) and making sure the kids are staying elsewhere.  We feel that when you run the gauntlet like we do on a week in/week out basis that uninterrupted time together is necessary.  This year we opted for 1 night/2 days away.  We didn’t venture far, but it was far enough.   We were SHOCKED when our youngest didn’t text us for 24 hours.  Lucky for us, the 2 big kids were home from college, so all 3 could just stay home together.   For 2 days we relaxed and explored.  We enjoyed our time together, as we always do.  When we got home the kids greeted us with laughter, flowers and a ‘What an Achievement!’ card.  They explained they felt it was more appropriate than a ‘Happy Anniversary’ card.  Our family shares nothing if not our strange brand of humor.

 

This year looks to be a significant one in our lives together.  Our oldest will graduate from college in a few months.  We will gain a daughter (in-law) at the end of the summer.  Our youngest will get her driver’s license.  Our middle child will continue her college path.  I will have more surgery where I will once again be a grumpy, pain in the butt that Dean has to wait on.  However, we look forward to sharing all of these events together, happily.  Sometimes we feel like an old boring couple, but then it is usually in those moments that I am thankful for the intimacy that we share  That intimacy where you can communicate with your partner with a simple glance, no words spoken.  Then of course, there is the laughter, always the laughter.  After 25 years together (24 of those married) we still make each other laugh…CONSTANTLY.  I’d say it has been a pretty good run, this marriage thing.  Now we get to look forward to planning for our 25th wedding anniversary adventure.  I’ve already told Kirsten that she isn’t allowed to get married next year because it is our 25th anniversary and we plan on spending money on us, not on a wedding for her.  I know it sounds kind of harsh doesn’t it??  Again, you have to understand our family’s twisted sense of humor.  Happy Anniversary to us!  There is no one else I would have wanted to partner with these last many years.  Thank you Dean!

Happy 19th Birthday Kirsten!

Today is Kirsten's 19th birthday!  I can hardly believe it!  This year also marks the first time that Kirsten hasn't been at home for her birthday.  No worries though, I understand that her friends have been giving her the royal treatment in our absence.  Lucky for us we got to see her Thursday night so we were able to send her wrapped gifts back to school with her.  I also hear that her boyfriend, James, is on his way down there now to take her out for a birthday dinner.  In other words, I think Dean and I have been replaced in terms of pertinent people to celebrate your birthday with!  It is all good.

Here are a few of my favorite pics of Kirsten from the last year.  Isn't she cute?  Oh and her personality is pretty amazing too!  Happy 19th Birthday Kirsten!  We love you!

I LOVE.LOVE.LOVE. this picture!  She took it right before she was leaving for college!

Kirsten is most happy when she can be playing outside--here she is snowshoeing (which I think she loves  ALMOST as much as hiking!)

I had to throw in one from her Father/Daughter England adventure. 

This one I just stole from her Facebook page--another evening of fun with her  dormmates.  She isn't one to 'glamor pose', so it cracked me up.

That 'boy' (aka James) that got to spend the evening with her instead of us...too bad she doesn't look happy.

‘Official’ Engagement Photos

Joshua and Evy are beginning to plan for their September 1 wedding.   While we still wait to see how the plans and ideas will all come together, we do get to enjoy these great photos of them.   I LOVE that they had them taken at one of Dean and my favorite Seattle viewpoints---one that we used to go to often when we were their age (or younger!) 

You can’t look at these pictures and not see how much they enjoy being with each other.  That makes me happy.

Things to NOT say at work.

As I have discussed before, I have two work environments.  Job #1 I have had for many, many, many years.  This job involves managing a small office with an interesting cast of characters.  Job #2 currently involves doing bookkeeping for the church that we attend (I was also doing secretarial work, but I have been on a leave of absence for my foot surgery).  Both environments have their pluses and their minuses.  I need to be clear that this entry is about an incident at job #1.

I arrived at work this morning (job #1) and was greeted by my co-worker who told me she had something to share.  She informed me that this was going to fall under the category of ‘I had to hear it, so you have to hear it too, it is only fair’.  Oh boy, these kinds of things are NEVER good.  She proceeded to tell me that yesterday bossman #1 (which would be the one that signs my paychecks—or more accurately the one whose signature I forge on my paychecks—who is not to be confused with bossman #2 who shares office space but who has no input on said paycheck)  had shared some wonderful information with her.  It seems that bossman #1 was talking with her, and our other long suffering employee, about his recent illness.  It seems he went into vivid detail (and when I say ‘vivid’ I mean that while launching into a verbal discourse, he added physical actions to the dissertation).  I should back up to say that recently he and his wife flew to Palm Springs so that he could attend a conference.  A friend of his wife’s had joined them and the 3 of them shared a hotel room (ok, I know it IS weird for people that are in their 60s and financially solvent).  While they were there, he became violently ill and ended up in the hospital for a few days.  Back to the story…

ANYWAY, he informed my 2 office-mates that unfortunately for their friend, she got to seem him in all his naked glory as he crawled across the hotel room floor in an attempt to reach the bathroom before bodily fluids were forcefully emitted from all parts (have you seen ‘Bridesmaids’??---think ‘VOLCANO!’).  When they asked him why he had no clothes on, he informed them ‘oh I always sleep in the nude, if I had put the robe on, I would have puked on it’.  Uh-huh, of course!  Even when you and your wife and your wife’s friend are too cheap to each get your own hotel you decide it is still ok to wear NOTHING, and then you make matters even more awkward (revolting????) by crawling around nude on said hotel room floor AND THEN by telling your employees about it?????  I think I may have to insist that my 2 office-mates are given a paid day off so they can recover from the horror.

And this my friends is yet another example of something you don’t say at the office.

It is a new year.

I know I am a few days behind with this.  Normally people acknowledge that it is a new year on New Year’s Eve or New Year’s Day.  Me, I’m just a little behind.  I am mainly behind because I was not sure how to sum up 2011 or look ahead to 2012.  So many thoughts and emotions, disappointments and hopes. 

When I look back at 2011, I see the highs and lows.  Highs of course always seem to relate to kids.  Thankful that our oldest, Joshua is so happy with the life path that he is currently on.   Excited to see our oldest daughter Kirsten start college and adjust to her new surroundings and friends well.  Pleased and relieved to see our youngest daughter, Annika start high school with almost no drama.   Thrilled to see her at long last falling in with a group of friends that recognize the good in her and value her for all that she is.  Another high is also our marriage.  Sure we get annoyed with each other, but knowing that we can still make each other laugh, not just sometimes, but frequently, makes the annoyances go away.   Time spent with those friends we consider our ‘chosen family’.  All highs.

Then I sum up the lows and disappointments of 2011.  As we closed the book on 2011, we are still in our house.  Months of emotional debate about should we or shouldn’t we try to sell the house, putting the sign in the yard and then having no response…disappointing.  Hoping, scheming, planning for what will happen next, only to end the year in the same spot was disappointing.   Wishing that we could be in closer proximity to those that we connect with, those that we cherish and that cherish us.  Instead, we remain in the same spot, often with feelings of intense loneliness that make your chest hurt.  Working at and attending a church whose motto is ‘where love is lived’ , yet on most encounters walking away with feelings of anything but love.  I acknowledge that there are exceptions—a handful of people that you are able to genuinely and honestly engage with and that you value immensely.   Unfortunately, most weeks those encounters are increasingly outnumbered by the countless hours of discussion, meetings, and engagement with others that leave you stressed, frustrated , exasperated and hopeless.   Watching dear friends (who feel more like our parents than our own parents) be repeatedly hurt, misjudged, disrespected, scrutinized and de-valued because of their own admitted flaws and imperfections.   People who once greeted me with a smile and a kind word, now turning their backs, averting their eyes, but why?  I’m still me…I haven’t changed, so I conclude that it must be because our view of who our dear friends are, differs from their view.  Lows. Lows. Lows.

So we look ahead to what will happen in 2012.  The obvious.  Joshua will graduate from college, move out and get married.  All of this promises to be a ‘high’.  The girls will continue to learn and grow in who they are.  Highs.  We will once again put the house on the market, only this time with a lower price and pray HARDER that it sells so we can open up options, and a fresh financial start.  Decisions about when to put ourselves and our needs first,  even if that might mean disappointing others.  Decisions implemented regarding schooling, jobs, housing, travel, finances.  We hope all of these things lead to more highs than lows for 2012.

Happy New Year! 

It was a good Christmas!



One of Kirsten's 'arty' Christmas pics


Christmas 2011 is now officially over.  It was a good Christmas, but it felt different somehow.  It could be because of the weather.  It wasn't particularly cold, there was definitely NO snow, maybe that was it.  We didn't go to Seattle (sadly all my cousins are busy with their own families these days, but I SO miss the years when we would always be together on Christmas).  We had the Christmas Eve gathering with the Haans.  Not everyone was able to be there, so it was a smaller group, maybe that was it?  Maybe it was because I was hobbling around on my scooter, unable to stand on both feet??  I'm not sure, but it did feel different.  Not different bad, just different.

This year has been a tough one for us financially, so I was a little concerned that the kids might be disappointed with the smaller offerings left under the tree.  I shouldn't have worried.  They were all excited with what 'Santa' had left for them!   I'm slowly learning that the kids don't expect it, instead it is what we hope/expect to do for them that needs to be adjusted.  I find myself often falling into the trap of wanting to overcompensate with my own kids--again not something they expect AT ALL, just something I want to do.  I grew up in a household where you were always VERY keenly aware of the household financial issues.  I have vowed many, many times that my own kids would be aware that there was a finite amount of resources, but I never wanted them to feel the stress and strains of the financial crisis that I felt growing up.  Growing up in a household where you think you might be homeless at any moment is not good for instilling security.  I didn't want to do that to my own kids.

So while it felt different this year, it was still a very good Christmas.   The kids are happy, Dean and I are happy together, and we are all healthy (well relatively speaking--my body is a bit broken, but that is somewhat fixable).  Joshua is excited to be getting married next year, Kirsten loves college, Annika is enjoying her life.  Yup, not so bad.  Next year at this time, we will be doing who knows what and starting new traditions.  Maybe why that is why this year felt different.  It is the last year that it will be just the 5 of us.

Here are some pictures from our weekend.  Enjoy!


Joshua decided that even though we started opening gifts at 2:00 pm he would normally open gifts in his pjs, sooooo, he changed out of his clothes, and donned his new robe and pj pants for the rest of the day.





Yay!  My Harry Potter DVD collection is complete!



WHAH??? You mean Kirsten and  I got Josh a 'Goats in Trees' Calendar and Josh got ME a 'Goats in Trees' Calendar???



Dean and I almost went out and got Kirsten one...



Isn't she cute??





Merry Christmas!