Can you do me a little favor?

Under the heading of, you just can’t make this up... I was at work one day a few weeks ago. My boss and wife had just returned from their vacation. Their summer vacations usually consist of fishing excursions and this year was no different. This year’s flyfishing adventure took them to all parts Colorado. Bossman informed me upon his return to the office that in their hastiness to get off the river and to their hotel, the last day of vacation they had left behind Lynn’s fishing waders and gear bag. ‘Bummer’, I said. ‘Oh no problem’ he said and that is where MY problem began.

He began to relay the tale to me. They discovered several miles down the road that they had left the bag behind. As luck would have it, the woman who was house sitting in their absence had a sister who had a boyfriend that lived in (again SUCH luck) the very area of Colorado where said bag had been left on shore. It was almost miraculous! Again, this is where MY luck began to run out. This is where I began to get that sinking feeling, a favor is coming here and of course suddenly THEIR problem became MY problem.

Before they had left Colorado, the boyfriend of the sister of the house-sitter (did you follow that?  me neither) had been contacted and had retrieved the bag. Thus the favor comes in, ready for it?? NOW Hugh and Lynn wanted me to ‘help’ them get the bag back home. Silly me, when I hear the query ‘will you help?’ I still think that means that there will be HELPFUL participation by ALL participants. Nope, in this case it really meant that I would be figuring this out. All by my big girl self! Oh, but rest assured, there would be participation from the other participants, just not HELPFUL participation.

The plan was simple in theory. Arrange for a pre-paid UPS shipper to be sent to the house sitter’s sister’s boyfriend (whom I am going to dub ‘Pot Boy’ for the remainder of this entry). The first set of information that I needed to complete this task was as follows: (1) Pot Boy’s name and address, (2) Pot Boy’s e-mail address, (3) approximate size and weight of item to be shipped, (4) value of item to be shipped, and (5) verification that Pot Boy could take the item to UPS to ship. Not too difficult right?

I sent my first e-mail to Lynn asking her for items 2-4. (E-mail #1) Instead of replying only to me, she started an e-mail chain to Pot Boy, Hugh, and me. (E-mail #2) Let’s suffice it to say that it took three more e-mails (E-mails #3, 4 and 5) before I was able to obtain ALL of the necessary information.

I went on UPS’s website and I arranged for the pre-paid shipper. I created a .pdf version of the same and sent an e-mail out to Pot Boy with the pre-paid shipper attached (E-mail #6). Whew! My obligations under the favor are now complete. NOT.SO.FAST.SMARTY.PANTS.

I received an e-mail from Pot Boy (E-mail #7). He mused that while he had received my e-mail, he wasn’t sure how he was going to print out the attachment. (Oh boy, sinking feeling begins to creep in). Maybe he could go to a friend’s house and print it out there. That would be BRILLIANT Pot Boy! You try that, and keep me out of THAT loop.

Within an hour I received an e-mail from Lynn (E-mail #8). She was concerned that Pot Boy lived in a small apartment.  What if he couldn’t print out the UPS shipper, maybe I should mail it to him???!!!??? At this point, I am thinking about the part of being asked to ‘help’. I’m thinking about how this implies that ALL participants will HELPFULLY participate. AND I’m thinking, SERIOUSLY??? I sent it to you too, why don’t YOU print it out and mail it to him, it is after all YOUR FISHING GEAR BAG.

No, I decided to take the high road. I reminded myself that I am paid to be at work, no matter what I do. If they want me to take care of this little item for them instead of billing clients for REAL work at the rate of $125.00/hour, SO.BE.IT. I sent another e-mail to Pot Boy (E-mail #9) and copied Lynn and Hugh. Would it be best if I mailed him the prepaid shipper? If so, WHAT address would he like me to mail it to? I received a thank you e-mail (E-mail #10) from Lynn. Later, I received an e-mail from Pot Boy (E-mail #11). He requested that I mail him the prepaid shipper, but please don’t use HIS P.O. Box because he doesn’t go there that often (somewhere in the background, I faintly hear him inhale, hold and exhale.) I quickly typed an envelope and mailed the blasted thing. Anticipating that I was FINALLY done with it, I sent what I hoped was my last e-mail (E-mail #12) informing ALL parties that the prepaid shipper had left the building on its way to Pot Boy.

So, was this the end of it?? For a week, I was lulled into false sense of security that the task was finished. The freaking bag was on its way home. Then, this past Thursday, the envelope I had mailed the shipper in was returned. The envelope was marked ‘Insufficient Address, Return to Sender’. WHAT?? NO. FRIGGIN’.WAY.

I quickly checked back at E-mail #11. I verified I had used the provided address. I googled the name of the business and came up with the SAME ADDRESS. Ok, so NOW what?

I sent an e-mail to Pot Boy (E-mail #13). Riddle me this--is there some additional information that should be included? I wait for him to respond. I receive a reply from Pot Boy (E-mail #14). He can’t understand why it was returned. He suggests that maybe he should just go and ship it and not worry about the prepaid business. Knowing this will only mean more headache for me down the road, I reply (E-mail #15) that I will give it one more try. If he doesn’t receive the shipper in a few days, just ship the sucker and WE will try to reimburse him for the costs. I type a new envelope and put it in the outgoing mail.

An hour later, I receive an e-mail from Lynn (E-mail #16). She has new information! Oh JOY! (the choir sings in the background). She says that the address I am using (which let’s not forget was provided to me BY the recipient–aka Pot Boy) is the PHYSICAL address of his work. She has found a P.O. Box for the business that she feels I should use instead. I retrieve the envelope from the outgoing mail bin. A third envelope is typed, shipper inserted, sealed, stamped, finished. I send an e-mail out to all interested (or disinterested) parties (E-mail #17) stating I have mailed the shipper to the P.O. Box that Lynn has found.

I go back to billable work. The mail is taken out to the Post Office. All SHOULD be right with the world. Until......

I receive an e-mail from Pot Boy (E-mail #18). As I read it, I again hear in the background the sound of SOMEONE taking a long drag.......His e-mail read as follows: ‘Yes, the post office sucks. I thought you were shipping Fed Ex. That could be the problem. The postal service is terrible TERRIBLE here.’

Uhmmmmmmmm. Let me get this straight. Pot Boy thought I was going to FEDERAL EXPRESS THE PRE-PAID UPS SHIPPER??? GET.OUT.OF.HERE. Great, now I am contemplating taking a long drag! NOOOOOOO, get yourself together woman!

I reply (E-mail #19). I inform all parties that I am using the P.O. Box (provided by Lynn hours earlier and typed onto the third envelope) and will mail (and by that I mean the old fashioned U.S. Postal Service) the prepaid shipper today.

A half hour after the mail was taken to the post office, I received a reply (E-mail #20) from Pot Boy: ‘Mailing address is the owner’s house. If not too late to Fed-X or UPS to the store address. If you have already done it I will just ask my boss to look for it’.

I sent the following reply (E-mail #21): ‘Too late…the mail has left the building. I sent it to the P.O. Box, by regular mail (U.S.P.S.). I didn’t think this warranted me fed-x-ing the UPS pre-paid shipper to you, but maybe I was wrong. Of course there is still always the option of accessing your e-mail at a place where you have access to a printer and you could print out the attached shipper. Then you have to take it to UPS. Again. I was told that you could ship the waders by UPS. If that isn’t going to work and you have to ship by Federal Express, then I have to start over at step 1.  Let me know when you have received everything and shipped it. Thank you again!’

Any wagers whether or not I am done with this favor? Somewhere in the background I can hear someone  take a deep drag. Wait, was that me????? Naaahhhhhhh.