Notice, Notice..there is an expert in the building.

What do you do when you encounter someone who is an expert on E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G? I was in the presence of such a person recently and I found myself biting my tongue. I have known this person for many years, but that day I was about ready to call bull-**** on almost everything he said. Instead I listened as he had a comment and expert opinion on every topic that came up.

The first one was dogs. I know for a fact that this man has NEVER owned a dog. That didn’t stop him from providing a running commentary on how you raise and train dogs. Even though I have heard him impart his unending knowledge before, this time I have to admit I was a little flabbergasted as he went on and on. I’ve owned three dogs, but I didn’t feel as though I had any right to comment on how to raise a Lab/German Shepherd because I have never owned one. This didn’t seem to stop him, not in the least.

One topic after another, he had input for. I silently processed his responses but then I began to wonder, HOW.DO.I.SHUT.HIM.UP? He was beginning to look ridiculous. People were looking at me and winking. Why is it that some people feel the need to give input to ANY conversation topic? Arrogance or insecurity?

Generalizations are the ones that always get under my fingernails. I know that we all do it, and I try really hard to not fall into this trap, but sometimes you hear those generalizations and you cringe. Some of the best (best = completely inaccurate and/or inappropriate) generalizations I have heard that I feel are worth noting:

1) If you eat dinner with a child that is less than 5 years old, you will end up with spaghetti in your hair because ALL children will throw food at you (again imparted from someone that has never raised a child from birth thru age 5).

2) ALL teenaged and/or college couples are doing nothing but having sex 24/7.

3) ALL men need access to horsepower, meaning they ALL dream of working on cars, being at a racetrack, owing a hot rod, etc. Without this they apparently feel inadequate as a male.

4) ALL men are secretly looking at porn as frequently as they can and want to have as much of this stuff forwarded to them by e-mail as is possible.

5) Women (or men) who are nice and laugh at your jokes are secretly wanting to get in your pants (silly me I thought it was called being polite).

Maybe one day I will figure out the need of some to be involved in every aspect of conversation. Those that haven’t learned how to be a ‘learner’ and instead are stuck in the ‘teacher’ mode, regardless of whether or not they have any legitimate material to teach. Until then, I will continue to bite my tongue when I am in the midst of such a person. Some might think this is the wrong approach and instead we should call the obnoxious on this. I believe I could define that as ‘showing grace’. Well it sounds good doesn’t it???