What's with the panties?

This morning, I was thinking about another dark secret of aging women, granny panties. Again, my mind works in strange ways, I have warned you about this before. The reason this topic came up in my mind was that I was thinking about my Mom. For the last 5 ½ weeks I have stopped by my Mom’s each evening to change post-op surgical dressings. I know...ewwwwwww...to that all I can say is just be glad this task it isn’t on your daily ‘To Do’ list. During this time, I have again re-discovered one of my Mom’s dark secrets–granny panties. I first discovered this secret last year after she had emergency surgery and I had to go to the mall and purchase new undergarments for her. I think I was so traumatized by this event, that I had blocked it from my mind until recently.

My Mom is generally a VERY modest person...she takes great pains to keep most of her body covered. It’s true, my Mother wears ‘granny panties’. Now mind you, she is not a large woman, which begs the question why the need for extra-large undies? Why is it necessary to wear undergarments that require excessive folding on laundry day? One night I teased her, ‘Mom why the granny panties? Come on already’. Luckily my bold out loud voice was greeted with a chuckle from her and not tears. She simply told me that she just wasn’t comfortable wearing anything less. I thought back to when my Grandmothers were alive...I remembered seeing their granny panties on laundry day. Then came the horrified thought–is this my familial destiny?

Is that what it boils down to? As we age, we decide that our skimpy little bikini bottoms or thongs should give way to high waisted briefs in the interest of comfort? I simply can’t get my head around that thought–how can a skimpy elastic waistband (connected to excessive fabric) running around my middle ABOVE the naval be comfortable?? Especially when there are so many other adorable options that require less fabric yardage. I wonder, is this the real reason that older women start wearing ‘mom jeans’?? Do they become afraid that their granny panties will rise above fashionably cut denim? Or is it just a slippery slope, first the panties, then the jeans, then pretty soon most of your wardrobe consists of double-knit? Frightening.

As I continue to age, I honestly don’t know if I will be able to subscribe to this idea. But then again, I’m not sure I want to be the only gal in the rest home wearing skimpy bikini bottoms. I guess only time will tell.