I win!: Behind Closed Doors

I like to keep a clean house. I was raised by a woman with obsessive compulsive disorder whose main compulsion was to maintain a clean and organized house. It was not unusual for me to be punished for not making my bed to exacting standards or for lack of tidy maintenance of my closet and drawers. Pets were forbidden due to their potential for foul bodily emission. Live plants were also on the prohibited list–after all generally they ARE potted in dirt. There was never a lack of faux flora and fauna, but that is a ANOTHER story.

I like to keep a clean house. Disorganization disturbs me. Everything has a place and in its place it should be. The clothes in my closet are coordinated by color. I neatly stack and separate the tupperware in my bottom kitchen drawer. The china cups, plates and saucers and glassware in my antique china hutch are systematically arranged. I feel comforted being surrounded by order. Maybe that is because there is so much chaos in all other aspects of my life that I need my corner of the block to be well kempt. However, I have NO problem if those who reside outside my four walls don’t have the same need for organization as I do.

I like to keep a clean house. The rub comes in that I do not live alone. I share a home with a husband, 3 kids, a dog and some fish (I think they are still alive–I can’t tell!). Its not fair of me to expect that they will have the same needs for organization that I do. Over the years I have gotten much more lax in the keeping of the house. While I used to expect that every room, nook, cranny, drawer and closet was kept in ritualistic order, I have resigned to the fact that isn’t going to happen. I have to be ok with the heaps that may exist behind closed doors. When we are getting ready to entertain, the kids will often ask me ‘are people going to be going thru the house?’. Translation...do I have to clean my room??

I like to keep a clean house. Over the years, I have decided it is acceptable to have different zones of public presentation in our home. There is the main floor zone where rooms like the laundry room are off limits to anyone for fear they will view the mounds of shoes, kids backpacks, and stacks of laundry and hanging drip-dry items. There is the master bedroom zone, which can be viewed directly off the main floor zone. Requirements: bed must be made, laundry must not be visible, dresser and bedside tables must be catalog photo-shoot ready. The upstairs zone is NOT a public presentation zone, or at least to those visitors that are over 21 or on those extra special entertaining occasions–say an after family funeral gathering, or graduation celebration. There are many closed door zones up there. That area my friends is the children residence zone. I have learned that it is permissible for them to maintain their personal space how they want. There are still some basic guidelines that must be followed. Food, remnants of food, recyclables, dirty table service and cutlery items are NOT permitted to remain in the children residence zone. Garbage cans must be emptied on a somewhat regular schedule. Daily bed-making is encouraged but not required. Dirty laundry is also encouraged to be placed into proper hamper receptacles as is proper placement of clean laundry. Disposal of empty shampoo, conditioner, body wash, and lotion containers is promoted. Implementation of proper disposal practices with regard to candy wrappers, obsolete school papers and mail items and discarded packaging is suggested.

Some days these practices and suggestions are heeded, other days they are not. This morning I walked around and took a few pictures to share. These show how things are behind closed doors. As anxiety began to creep over me, I took a deep breath and reminded myself that the girls are asserting their independence, an important part of growing up. And just because I like to keep a clean house, doesn’t mean they do. And that is alright with me.