Happy 25th Anniversary to Us!

Today, March 19, is our 25th wedding anniversary. We have been talking about this day for a long time, plans for a big trip to Europe, maybe a large ticket item purchase in commemoration of the big event. Then reality set in and we decided that this year probably wasn’t the year for a huge expenditure. We are good with that, knowing that instead we will put those funds towards throwing Kirsten and James a wedding of their own later this year. But if I’m honest, part of me really wishes we were in the midst of trip to Turkey and Greece. Maybe next year.

So, what did we decide to do to mark this auspicious day? Well currently we are in a lovely historical hotel in downtown Walla Walla, Washington. Odd choice? Maybe, but for us it has been just perfect. We drove here a few days ago and have enjoyed just hanging out, tasting lots and lots of good wine and buying probably a few too many bottles to take home! We have lingered over meals, lounged in the evenings with books and just enjoyed being together in a small town that runs at a little slower pace than we are used to. I actually think I could live here, the slower pace is kind of nice, lots of cute old homes and let’s not forget hundreds of wineries to choose from. Hmmmmmm, maybe???

Today we head back over the mountains to Seattle. We will stay downtown in another gorgeous hotel, only this time one that is sleek and modern with views overlooking the city around us. I LOVE staying downtown Seattle. For me there is always a certain nostalgia about staying downtown. When we first met and were dating (and then married) we lived in Seattle and I worked downtown in one of those glass and steel buildings. Even though it has been many years since we lived there, I still feel as though I belong there. So maybe one day we will move back there too. I just can’t decide today, slower pace or faster pace? I like the idea of both---depending on the day.

Today we celebrate 25 years of marriage. I really cannot believe it. I don’t feel like we are old enough to be celebrating 25 years of marriage! But then I realize that we have a 22 year old married son, a soon to be married 20 year old daughter and another 16 year old daughter and I guess it makes sense. Still though, we seem so MUCH younger than our parents must have been when they celebrated their 25th anniversaries. I have faint remembrances of my parents’ 25th anniversary celebration. My parents were both 46 at the time, a year older than me and 2 years YOUNGER than Dean. WEIRD! I always thought they had to be older, then I did the math. I tried to find the picture of my family from that day so I could post it here, but I couldn’t, but I can picture it in my mind. All 6 of us perched on the fireplace mantle in my Aunt and Uncle’s living room, my Dad with a big smile, my mother with a pained one. Mom and Candy and I dressed in our Sunday best dresses, Dad in a suit coat, Jeff and Doug in their Sunday best. I remember Mom and Dad getting several gifts made out of silver. After all, your 25th anniversary is traditionally the year to give and receive items of silver. We celebrated with my Mom’s siblings and their families and her parents. That family is always great for a celebration!

Today is our 25th wedding anniversary. We could have had a party, but we would have had to organize it ourselves and I just wasn’t up to that. I LOVE to celebrate with other people, but the thought of cleaning my house and making food and inviting a large group over just wasn’t going to happen right now. No, instead we decided that what we wanted most was time alone, together. After 25 years we still really enjoy spending time alone together. Exploring new things, talking, not talking, any of it is good. When we get back home tomorrow night, we will plan a dinner out with our kids to officially mark this day as a family. Then, we will get back to the normal routine of our lives. Seems strange that today should come and go so quietly, but it is all good. We are together. We may not be the perfect storybook marriage, but we still make each other laugh every day, and we enjoy being together and that is all that really matters. Happy 25th Anniversary to us!

Mean Girls

I am really tired of mean girls.  You can say what you want about boys, but you don’t usually hear the phrase ‘mean boys’ when you think about how boys treat other boys.  Girls, well girls are just different that way.  For crying out loud they even made a movie, and a sequel, ‘Mean Girls’.  Of course they weren’t cinematic masterpieces, but you get the idea.  GIRLS.CAN.BE.MEAN.

I am a mother to a 16 year old girl.  She is bright, she is cute, she is fun-loving.  She can also be a typical teenage girl that can be annoying sometimes, BUT that doesn’t give her peers the right to be MEAN to her.  As a parent, I have told my kids (more times than I can count), TREAT OTHERS HOW YOU LIKE TO BE TREATED. PERIOD.  It doesn’t matter what they do to you, say to you, say ABOUT you, TREAT OTHERS HOW YOU LIKE TO BE TREATED.  That means if you wouldn’t want someone to ask you ‘why are you wearing THOSE pants?’, then don’t ask someone ‘why are you wearing THOSE pants?’.  If you know it would hurt your feelings if people planned an event (and you weren’t invited) and they talked about it in front of you, then don’t do it either.  And the list goes on and on and on.

Now, my youngest daughter is NOT perfect.  BUT she is also not overly sensitive, so when she comes home upset, I take it seriously.  And today, I’m home and she came home upset.  The reason?  MEAN GIRLS.  One in particular.  There always has to be AT LEAST one in the group right?  I should interject that Annika’s BFF’s family moved out of state last summer, so this year has been a bit of a challenge, again.  BUT, she is involved with a great group of kids in a local youth group and most of them were in the recent high school musical together, they spend a fair amount of time together  Like, I said, a great group of girls, but there happens to be one that likes to push Annika’s buttons, ALL.THE.TIME.  Well this one, I have taken to calling her ‘Annika’s nemesis’ in my head, well she is just MEAN and I’m blogging right now so that I don’t pick up the phone and call her mother and chew her out for what a mean daughter she has  BECAUSE again, I’m trying to follow my own mantra of TREAT OTHERS HOW YOU LIKE TO BE TREATED and so I am typing fast and furious instead of dialing and yelling.

Again, I know my child is not perfect.  BUT I know that my child is also warm and open and loving and has a killer sense of humor.   I know my child has an over-developed empathy gene due to all of the crap she has had to endure her short 16 year life.  I know that she is not one to be pushed around and that she definitely advocates for herself (again she has had to grow up in this area MUCH faster than most kids her age, again due to circumstances of life).  BUT there is nothing that makes her deserve to be on the opposite side of her nemesis.  I will give you some examples:

Example 1:  Nemesis tells Annika, “I’m so pretty that I can get any boy that I want, it is a good thing that you are smart or you wouldn’t get anyone’.

Example 2:  Nemesis and several other girls have planned to go away together on Spring Break.  Annika had heard some rumblings of this trip, but she figured it was one of those things and even though she was disappointed she wasn’t invited (because it of course feels like EVERYONE else IS invited), she took it in stride.  THEN, last week, Nemesis brings it up IN FRONT OF ANNIKA, and begins bragging about what fun they are all going to have on their Spring Break trip.  Again, there was no reason for her to bring this up in front of her, it was just plain RUDE.  Nemesis then shrugs it off saying, oh well it is only for upper classmen, oh uhm, guess what, NOT.  One of the invited girls is Annika’s age and someone that she happens to spend a lot of time with.  RUDE.

Example 3:  Nemesis brings up today to Annika that she and 8 other girls are going to a play tomorrow night but Annika isn’t invited.  WHY??????  Why would she do that?  MEAN GIRLS.

I could go on and on with examples like this.

I could give the girl benefit of the doubt that maybe she is from a difficult home and she is just acting out on someone she sees as a weak link.  BUT, guess what??  This is a girl whose family I know goes to church, a family who is very ‘front and center’ in the Christian community.  They are a very nice family, so WHY does Nemesis think Annika has no feelings and that it is ok to do this, over and over and over?  Why doesn’t this girl treat others like she would like to be treated??

Again, I know my daughter isn’t perfect and I am sure that she annoys Nemesis at times because I know she gets attention from boys (they consider her one of the boys—she has no desire to have a boyfriend right now, so she is easy for the boys to hang out with), I know she gets attention from teachers (at a recent conference, all of her teachers told us how much they enjoy her and her humor and wit), so maybe that is why??  Maybe?  For now, I’m just really tired of MEAN GIRLS.  I want high school to be over so we can move into new territory and leave those days behind.

Ok, I’m done….and I promise I won’t call anyone’s Mom and chew them out.  Promise.