Friday, December 17, 2010

The Christmas letter I won’t be sending.

I’ve been in a debate with myself about our annual Christmas letter. I am pretty sure that I am going to skip this little diddy this year. Mainly I feel it is redundant in the days of Facebook and blog posting. Most that care, already have the ins and outs of our year. I still like to dream about the content that I would put into such a dissertation if I were to write one. I dream of sending one out that would make people go ‘whoa, I can’t believe she put that in their letter’. If I was to write a brutally honest expose, it might look like this:

Dear friends and family. As 2010 draws to a close, I can’t help but reflect upon the past year. 2010 began with a whimper, my own. As 2010 ends, we find ourselves still married and no one facing criminal charges, so we are chalking it up to a successful year. We find ourselves employed, although at jobs that we often dread, but they allow us to barely pay the bills, so we will stick with them. Some of us are still working on finding the right medication routine, so in the meantime we seem to have amassed quite a collection of pharmaceuticals, which we keep in a shoe box in our closet. Not sure why we feel the need to hang onto all of these half-filled bottles, and why we keep them in a shoe box, but that is how it is.

The neighborhood is experiencing some change.  We are anticipating the low rent district showing some promise of improvement this next year.  The family of 20 that rents across the street is preparing to move out on December 31.  We will miss their wild children running naked in the summer.  We will miss watching the children sled down the dirt pile.  Most of all we will miss their mangled trampoline that lays in a heap on the lawn after it blew across the road during the last big wind storm.  We were hoping that the other neighbor might be jailed this year for his constant screaming, but alas it didn't happen.  We were pretty stoked to see that he bought a big ass motorhome that he often keeps parked on the street, impeding traffic.  His collection of inflatable holiday lawn globes was magnificient this year.  I love lawn art.  Even better is that the neighbors out our back door (in the trailer park) painted their home a magnificient pepto pink.  LOVE.IT.

The kids:

Josh is loving his new major, Linguistics. Sure, he isn’t guaranteed any type of actual paying job when he graduates, as was the case with his previous electrical engineering major, but he is happy. We find him often muttering in foreign languages. He has subscribed to the total immersion way of learning language, so when he is home on breaks and you enter his bedroom you are greeted with a variety of language being transmitted from his computer. This break he has spent hours watching old Disney animated movies in the French. While some may find his sitting around in his flannel pj pants all day listening to French or Italian or Spanish annoying, we are thankful that he loves what he is studying, after all he should since the tuition bill is $39k/year. As long as he doesn’t forget to talk to us in English we are good. He is still madly in love with his girlfriend Evy, but for now they say they will wait for marriage until AFTER college. Whew!

Kirsten (aka Bif)--in her senior year of high school--is trying to participate in anything and everything she can, all at the same time. We are slightly concerned that she is turning into a hoarder. Reasons for this fear are varied. One, I found a collection of her old worn slippers under her bed (I can’t remember what I was looking for) and two she doesn’t like to empty the garbage under her sink. She seems to prefer letting it fill the entire cabinet before her parents have had enough and empty it. She has managed to outsmart the Lynden Police on more than one occasion and remains ticket free! We were a little worried that she might get ‘pinched’ this summer when she and friends were in the park after hours watching the meteor shower. Harmless fun until the cops come looking to see whose car is parked there and shine a searchlight looking for delinquents who have violated the after dark trespass law. They managed to stay low to the ground and out of the searchlight. That would have been a big ticket. Bif and Cleetus (aka Erika) are constantly plotting something. Lucky for us they are smart girls and so they know how to stay out of real trouble.

Annika is in 8th grade and is slowly preparing for high school. Her year at home has been interesting. She amazes me how tough she can be. We feel she is our first teenager as we go thru the jr. high drama. For now she seems to be hanging out with girls whose main goal ISN’t to have a baby by the time they are 15 so we are thankful for that. For now we don’t think we have to worry about her bringing home a 17 y/o boy as her boyfriend (as some of her old friends have done)–she seems content to just be friends with the ones that are her age. She tells us daily stories of boys farting and belching and taunting teachers. Ah yes junior high. She has also brought her Science grade from a ‘J’ (meaning it was so far below a ‘F’ that we decided to call it something else), to a B. We are so proud. All kidding aside, we are glad that she is getting healthier every day.

So we end 2010 in debt up to our eyeballs, but still laughing and enjoying each other’s company. We hardly cry at all anymore over the fact that the house we own is worth less than our mortgage. It is really fine. Really, it is. Bottom line, the kids still want us all to hang out together on a regular basis, whether that means a long weekend away or playing a game, or watching a movie together. It is all good.

Merry Christmas!

Friday, December 10, 2010

It has been an interesting week.

It has been another interesting week.  Both good and bad and then the not so good and not so bad.  Today as I sit here though I have some peace.  I feel that I have been able to clarify a few things in my mind and that feels wonderful.  I will share a little of what I learned this week, (or what I was reminded of this week).

I enjoy listening.  Don't misunderstand me, I LOVE talking too!  Those of you that know me,  know that.  But, I honestly enjoy listening to other people tell me things about their lives.  I never fail to learn something.

I can take criticism, even the harsh and super-critical kind.  I don't like it (who does?), but I will always process it thoughtfully, regardless of the deliverer.  Sometimes I process a bit too much and then get into a self-flogging mode.  I truly believe I am my own worst critic.  I say that because I often receive encouragement from a variety of people to give myself some credit where credit is due.  I am sure some might disagree with me on this and say that I can be difficult to critique, but I have learned that those are usually the ones that have a difficult time taking responsibility for their own actions.

I'm learning that I can't fix everything.  I have also learned that is ok to take a step back and not even try to fix everything.  Sometimes when I try to fix or resolve something, I make an even bigger mess of it (insert self-flogging here).  While some may question my motives and intentions, I know in my heart that I never set out with evil intent.  Sometimes I may be misguided in my efforts, but it is only because I care, sometimes too much.  No matter how much I try, sometimes it won't be enough, or it may be entirely off the mark.  I'm learning to forgive myself and move on.

Some people have difficulty accepting responsibility for their own actions, or acknowledging their own actions.  I've learned that you cannot have meaningful relationships with people who fall into this category.  If someone is consistently talking negatively of those that they say they love, steer clear.  Don't be lulled into a false sense of security that they trust you.  After all if they didn't why would they share such negativity about those they love with you.  Guess what, they don't trust you.  I don't believe they have trust for anyone, other than themselves.  I also have experienced that people that fall into this category will always choose themselves and their needs, wants and desires first, regardless if it hurts others.  Even if that means making those that they love give up something that is important to them.

These are just a few things that I have processed this week.  There are more, but that is all for now.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Things on my mind.

This is going to be a writing exercise in 'stream of consciousness'.  Today I am pretty convinced that I have ADD as my mind jumps from one thing to another to another.  Rather than try to organize a group of related thoughts into fluid sentences and paragraphs, I think I will just share a glimpse of what the inner workings of my mind look like.  I know, its a scarey place.  Don't judge, I'm just being honest.

Some random thoughts:

1)  What should we have for dinner tonight?  I'm not sure but I think it should involve gorgonzola cheese and bacon.
2)  I had book club last night so I got to stay in the big house at co-housing.  The only problem was that there didn't seem to be any warm water for my shower this morning and when I say no warm water I mean there was only COLD water available.  I can't do cold showers unless I am in the tropics.  I had to go to work early so I didn't want to wake Aa and K8, so I shook a bottle of baby powder all over me, curled my hair and headed out the door.  Now its almost 5 and I can't decide if it is worth it to take a shower or just call it good.
3)  My bra is really digging into my right side..I'm prettty sure it's leaving a mark.
4)  Do I have to cook tonight or can I get away with feeding everyone leftover stuffing and mashed potatos and gravy???  If only the turkey wasn't all gone.
5)  I applied for a new job, but I really wish I would win the lottery instead.
6)  Looking thru Kirsten's senior masquerade pictures I keep thinking I wish I could go thru high school again, only with her confidence.
7)  The damn cat knocked over my new vase and broke it.  Should I try to glue it or just toss it?
8)  Someone just told me Dean is having surgery.  Hmmmm, I didn't know that, I think I forgot to ask him about something...
9)  Is it Wednesday or Thursday?  I can't remember
10)  I wonder how much I can use the 'i have no vitamin d in my system' as an excuse for doing things I don't like?
11)  I think I forgot to eat lunch.  I'm not really sure, but I certainly can't be this hungry if I HAD eaten lunch.
12)  I wonder if I can talk Dean into going out to dinner?
13)  I really need to figure out when I'm going to put Christmas decorations up.  Do you think anyone would notice if I don't put up the tree this year?
15)  I wonder if I smell like I didn't have a shower today? 
16)  I can't feel my left pinky finger...has it been like that for long and I didn't notice or?
17)  I wonder if I could get by with serving a variety of cheeses and crackers for dinner on a Wednesday night?  Would they notice there was no real meal?
18)  Is 4:00 pm too early to put PJs on if you aren't sick?
19)  I wish I could find some fuzzy socks to put on.
20)  I think I can put on PJs, it is dark out.

Monday, November 29, 2010

I know how Peggy Ann McKay feels.

It is Monday again.  Not just any Monday, but the Monday after a long holiday weekend away.  These are the worst kind.  As I was laying in bed this morning (contemplating how long I could stay there before emerging from under the covers) I kept thinking about one of my favorite poems.  I first heard this poem when I was in elementary school and I have never forgotten it.  I wanted to share it:

Sick

'I cannot go to school today, '
Said little Peggy Ann McKay.
'I have the measles and the mumps,
A gash, a rash and purple bumps.
My mouth is wet, my throat is dry,
I'm going blind in my right eye.
My tonsils are as big as rocks,
I've counted sixteen chicken pox
And there's one more-that's seventeen,
And don't you think my face looks green?
My leg is cut-my eyes are blue-
It might be instamatic flu.
I cough and sneeze and gasp and choke,
I'm sure that my left leg is broke-
My hip hurts when I move my chin,
My belly button's caving in,
My back is wrenched, my ankle's sprained,
My 'pendix pains each time it rains.
My nose is cold, my toes are numb.
I have a sliver in my thumb.
My neck is stiff, my voice is weak,
I hardly whisper when I speak.
My tongue is filling up my mouth,
I think my hair is falling out.
My elbow's bent, my spine ain't straight,
My temperature is one-o-eight.
My brain is shrunk, I cannot hear,
There is a hole inside my ear.
I have a hangnail, and my heart is-what?
What's that? What's that you say?
You say today is...Saturday?
G'bye, I'm going out to play! '
  by Shel Silverstein

I know just how little Peggy Ann feels.  If it was Saturday I wouldn't have nearly as difficult a time getting out of bed as I do on Mondays.  Finally I got up and I looked at our family calendar.  It made me want to crawl back into bed.  I know our calendar is very similar to other family's, but it overwhelmed me this morning.

Monday:  Physical Therapy 8:30, Dr. appt with Annika, 2:30; Tonight: Dean-Meeting 7:00, Kirsten, Sr. Masquerade

Tuesday:  Dr. for me at 9:30; Office Payroll; set up for Wednesday mini-bazaar; Book Club sleepover (one of my favorites)

Wednesday:  Office Day-Billing; Mini-Bazaar @ church for Over the Moon Goods; Dean-Dr. 8:40; Annika-orthodontist 2:30; Night:  Kirsten--SHINE

Thursday: quiet day...ahhhhhhh; Night: Kirsten-Deck the Halls



Friday:  Office Holiday Lunch @ 1:30pm; Annika-Dr. @ 2:00 pm; Night:  Small Group dinner @ our house (another favorite).

A quick calculation tells me that is 6 dr/dentist appointments, total co-pays, $150.00.  Maybe I should consider taking that other job???




Saturday, November 27, 2010

and then there was the rest of the holiday weekend...

We came home late last night from our 3 day/2 night trek to Victoria.  We all had an amazing time and were thoroughly glad we spent the time and money on this little Thanksgiving 'break'.  Our first night it snowed, and in the morning everything in Victoria looked so beautiful.  The fountain in front of Parliament was still frozen, but by the end of the day it had thawed, along with most of the snow.  Our Thanksgiving day is not the same as Canada's Thanksgiving Day (Canada celebrates Thanksgiving in October--and from what I can tell it to Canadians Thanksgiving means head to the U.S. and go shopping), so we didn't have the traditional roast beast feast.  Instead, our family had afternoon high tea.  The kids loved it.  The finger sandwiches, crumpets, scones, lemon curd, all of it.  I lost track of how many pots of tea we consumed, but it was a nice switch from the traditional stuff-yourself-'til-you-pop Thanksgiving meal.  That night I made pasta and we played games in our hotel suite. 

Incidentally, our hotel was fantastic.  A block away from Parliament, 2 bedrooms, living room, kitchenette, bath and a half.  We could spread out and not get on each other's nerves.  It was wonderful.  We weren't tripping over suitcases.  I wasn't trying to keep everything neat and tidy.  The only problem is that the next time we have to all share one hotel room, I am going to be cranky.  We even used the exercise room (which was also fabulous).  Annika got to swim, which is always a good thing for her. 

On our final day in Victoria, we went to the museum.  Our family is a museum family.  We can spend more hours in a museum looking at exhibits, reading placards, participating in interactive displays.  It was especially neat this year when Annnika made some connections between what she had been taught in science class and the visual exhibits.  We took a break to eat and watch an IMAX movie on Van Gogh, but she was the first one begging to head back upstairs and continue thru the museum exhibits.  That was VERY unusual.  By the end of several hours of this, we were all exhausted, but it was a good exhaustion.  Our brains were tired from taking everything in.  We headed to the ferry and began the trek home.

Today, we began the re-entry to our routine.  Kirsten had to be at work first thing this morning.  Josh's car had to go in to put the studded tires on.  I had to get blood work done.  Dean had an appointment and worked on church 'stuff' most of the day.  Oh and laundry, of course laundry.  Dean got the Christmas lights up.  He and Annika hauled the Christmas decoration boxes down, but they are still stacked in the garage.  Oh and then I cooked an entire Thanksgiving meal to fulfill a promise to the kids that they would in fact get their turkey dinner.  So I made the pumpkin dessert/pie, turkey, stuffing, mashed potatos and gravy, sweet potatos, asparagus, cranberry and did I forget anything???  Oh that's right, the wine.  Nope, I actually haven't had that yet.  We have to head to get my Mom at the train at 9 pm, so I will wait on my glass of wine.  OH and then the best part, we got to have Evy (Josh's gf) and her mom Nadia join us for dinner.  Nadia amazes me, but that is another blog.  She is such a warm and fun person, as is Evy. Dean's Mom was able to join us too.  Yup, back to the routine. 

For now, I am thankful that the five of us can still spend time together and enjoy each other.  Sure we may get testy with each other once in a while, but the laughter and good discussions always outweight those moments.  I am also thankful that we can return back home, even though that routine can often be a little overwhelming to me, its comfortable too.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Victoria, Victoria

I am typing this from a hotel room in downtown Victoria, British Columbia.  Dean and the kids are playing a game and I am taking advantage of free wi-fi.  This year, instead of the traditional extended family Thanksgiving celebration, we opted to pack up and leave town for a few days.  We journeyed to Victoria today.  It wasn't planes, trains and automobiles, but instead automobiles and ferry boats.  As I sit here, I can hear that Annika is growing very tired and stressed as they try to play the game of Life.  The day has gone relatively well until now.  I wonder if we will ever be able to travel as a family without causing this child so much stress and angst.  So close and yet so far.

Later, we looked at this picture and went 'who are those old people??'

Up to this point, the day was overall a good day.  We left the house early this morning and crossed the border into Canada, driving to the B.C. Ferry terminal.  The weather is cold, but we bundled up as we walked the streets of Victoria.  We toured a castle, had a snack in Chinatown and took pictures of the frozen fountain in front of the Parliament Building.  Along the way we laughed and sometimes got annoyed with each other.  Our children always keep us hoping, no matter how grown up they are.  The things of today that I find noteworthy...

1)  When it was time to leave the house this morning, Josh was still in his flannel pj pants.  No worries, he simply pulled his jeans over his pj pants, telling us that if he got warm, he could always take them off.  He went thru the entire day wearing 2 pairs of pants, flannel and jeans.  I am also pretty sure that the suitcase he brought home is filled with dirty laundry that he is just sorting thru and recyling while we are on our little mini-vacay.  At least he didn't participate in 'no shave November' this year.  I may actually be able to get a Christmas card picture that I don't have to mail out with a disclaimer.  Oh, and his muttering to himself is now done in French and/or Italian. It took me a while to realize that his muttering was now being done in a different language, I kept trying to keep up.  Silly me.

2)  Kirsten has a cold and refuses to blow her nose. I sat in front of her for several hours in the car.  I was reminded of when she had a cold as a young toddler and I had to suck the snot out of her nose (with a bulb syringe) because she refused to blow her nose into a kleenex.  Then there was the time we were vacationing in Whistler and Dean had to leave the condo late at night in search of Vicks rub because someone refused to blow their nose and was crying because they were stuffed up.  Oh yes, the sinus issues, and the refusal to deal with them by merely blowing into a kleenex still continue. Kirsten also uses her outloud voice a little too much at times.  I'm learning that she just says things just to have them noted, she doesn't expect me to fix anything.  It has only taken me 17 years to figure that one out.

3)  Annika does best if she can sit in the third seat of the car, alone.  She plugs in to her Ipod, her Nintendo DS and is quite happy.  However, being her mother's daughter, she still feels the need to hear EVERY word that is spoken in the car.  This wouldn't be so bad if she didn't have EAR PHONES IN HER EARS.  The constant 'WHAT?' from the far back corner of the car can sometimes make us shout 'ANNIKA WE AREN'T TALKING TO YOU' more than we should.

4)  Dean is afraid of me.  He admits it.  Not all the time, just certain times.  Mainly he is afraid of getting lost when we are traveling.  It isn't that he is afraid for himself or the rest of us to not know where exactly we are the ENTIRE time we travel, he likes to figure things out Amazing Race style.  The reality is that he is afraid of what I WILL DO if we get lost.  Being lost is something that I don't handle well, AT ALL.  I panic.  We have had many,many arguments over the years when we head out somewhere and he hasn't done all the research of how to get from Point A to Point B.  Today, we managed to get from Point A to Point B and C and D and E without any issue.  Of course that is because I had printed out directions before we left home, AND we grabbed a map on the ferry.   I was glad that I didn't have to make my husband frightened by my panic.

Fan Tan Alley, Chinatown

5)  I've developed an irrational fear of falling.  For years I have had a recurring nightmare where I fall to my death.  Not an unusual dream, Freud even covered it for crying out loud.  More recently that fear of falling has entered my conscious world in an extreme way.  When the kids were little I was overly cautious with them around any open, potential fall hazard area.  That fear never really subsided with Annika.  I think mainly because she tends to be the proverbial bull in a china closet as she goes thru life.  Tripping, running into things, falling.  Today, as we toured the castle, which had a center staircase that rose the 5 flights thru the center of the house, I FREAKED when she got near the inner edge and was looking down thru that spiral center of stair tread.  I worried that she would somehow throw herself over the railing's edge and plummet thru that center to the first floor.  Irrational? Yes. Real to me? Yes.  I think I might have something new to explore in a therapy context...my irrational fear of falling.  Note:  She didn't trip and fall and we all made it out of the castle, each in one piece.  However, I ascended and descended the stairs hugging the wall, not the open center.

6)  Our hotel has a cozy bar that serves wine at 1/2 price on Wednesday.  The best part???  The kids are all underage and so they had to stay in our room when we got to sample and talk, uninterrupted.

I wonder what will happen tomorrow.

Friday, November 19, 2010

Homeless

As I was doing my usual morning news check, I watched a news video about a homeless man that returned $3300 that he had found in a backpack.  While it was encouraging to have some good news, the story also bothered me a bit.   Why are these types of stories worthy of national news coverage?  Has doing the right thing become such a novelty in our society?? In the newsreel, the point was made (more than once) that the homeless can have integrity. Did that mean that the story wouldn't have garnered national attention if the finder of monies lost HAD a home?

I will readily admit (with shame) that I have a lot of pre-conceived ideas about people.  However, assuming that almost all homeless people are thieves is not one of them.  Thinking that homeless people are trying to prove they don't need to conform to society's standards and therefore choose to be homeless is also not one of them.  Recently, our family has had the privilege of interacting with Dave, a man who is homeless.  Dave is an interesting guy who survives on limited disability payments.  He has chosen living alone, outside, so that he can remain financially independent.  He has told us that he some friends that he can always crash on their couch if it gets TOO cold outside, but he wishes to remain independent as much as possible.  He resides in a small, solitary camp in the middle of the city.  When we take him 'home', we merely stop the car along the side of the road, and he gets out and disappears into the brush and trees.  Somewhere back in that brush is the place that he currently calls home.  He has his routine.  He goes to the Y daily to work-out and shower.  He keeps his limited possessions in a 5x5 storage locker located near his 'home'.  He attends a men's Bible study once a week as well as a small worship gathering, which is where we have had the privilege to worship along with him.  He is polite, well read, and an encourager.  Heis one of the many in our country who find themselves homeless.

According to the National Coalition for the Homeless, the main causes for homelessness are:  foreclosure, poverty, lack of work, decline in public assistance, lack of affordable housing options, and lack of affordable health care.  The statistics also cite that 63% of homeless women have been victims of domestic violence.  Another 26% of homeless single adults suffer from severe mental illness, with 5-7% of those requiring institutionalization.  The statitics also show that homelessness is on the increase, even for families.  In conclusion, the National Coaliation for the Homeless summarizes that:  Homelessness results from a complex set of circumstances that require people to choose between food, shelter, and other basic needs. Only a concerted effort to ensure jobs that pay a living wage, adequate support for those who cannot work, affordable housing, and access to health care will bring an end to homelessness.

This morning as I type this, I am looking out my window at a small dusting of snow.  I hear the wind howling.  I made myself a latte' and am padding around in my warm socks and cozy yoga pants and sweatshirt.  I am snug inside the walls of my home that separate me from the biting cold.  As I sit here, I can't help but think about where Dave is and if he was able to stay warm last night.  I can't help but think about the many more that are in his same situation.  Most of all, I feel an enormous sense of gratitude for all that I have.







 

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Over the Moon Goods

So I'm finally at a point where I am ready to share.  I have spent the last several weeks on a little project.  I have revealed very little because I didn't want to overwhelm myself.  Today, I think I am ready.  Please check out my other blog:  http://www.overthemoongoods.blogspot.com/.  You can also check out our website:  http://www.overthemoongoods.com/ (although disclaimer, we are still REALLY 'under construction' on that one).  You can also follow us on Facebook--just log in and search for 'Over the Moon Goods'.

Living on Less

Recently we made a radical decision and decided for me to give up my job. I’ve blogged about this before. In the midst of some of the most difficult economic times, I decided to give up a job that delivered a fat paycheck while inflicting a huge personal toll. Of course I still go to the office one day a week, but I am finding that time goes fast and I have successfully been able to instill and maintain good boundaries. However, I will admit that I am still adjusting to the 30% reduction in our income, especially since the last 2 years we have amassed a mountain of debt due to that special thing called 'uninsured medical expenses'.  And let's not forget the one kid in college and another in private high school.

It is very true when they say that the more you work, the less you pay attention to what is coming in and going out. I’m the one that every January sits down and realizes that I haven’t entered the checkbook entries on the computer since the PREVIOUS January. It has become my own version of Russian Roulette (let’s see how many debits DIDN’T get written in the checkbook this year???–oops, that was a big one *BANG*). After I get everything entered and categorized it is always a bit daunting to see where the money has gone. The last five years the major bulk has gone to medical and related expenses, followed closely by the over-mortgaged house (again medical expense related) and of course food. While we can do nothing about the medical, I have been quite stoked to have the time to plan and prepare food. Having more time on my hands has allowed me to plan meals from a completely different perspective. Whereas before I would plan out the weeks’ meals based on a variety of take-out offerings and meals that could be prepared in 10 minutes or less, now I have a whole variety of meal options to choose from.

I’ve learned that I have TIME to use coupons, and I don’t mean the kind that Macy’s sends me every other week–although I will admit I have used 2 of those the past week to purchase a Tolo dress for a high school senior that lives in my house. I look forward to the grocery fliers. I peruse the discounted offerings, clip the coupons, and plan my meals around what is on sale. For instance, did you know my grocery stores offers a buy one/get one free meat special each week? AND, they are those cuts of meat that you usually can’t justify but when you are talking 2/1 suddenly you are in heaven. I even have time to frequent the grocery outlet store. I did a quick tabulation this morning and I found that I have cut our food expenses by almost 60%. Its shocking and the best part is, we are eating better than we did before.

The other thing we have discovered from a different perspective is the consignment and second hand store. While I have always enjoyed the thrill of the hunt at these types of establishments (and in fact I have 2 adorable new living room chairs and a secretary desk which were fun projects this summer), we have shifted into making these emporiums our FIRST stop. This past week we were able to get the girls 3 pairs of jeans for $20 TOTAL. The best part, they LOVE their new jeans. My favorite part, we went there FIRST and thoroughly enjoyed our shopping experience and they hope to go back the next time they have a clothing need.

We have slashed other fiscal expenditures. The family health club membership–GONE. The cable tv and cable internet–GONE (although I must admit we still get 13 stations and we aren’t sure why???). In exchange we have more time to read and DSL internet at a mere fraction of the cost. We even figured out how to appease my addiction to ‘On Demand’...’Netflix’. It’s a beautiful thing, so much so, that we instilled a Friday-Sunday night only tv watching rule for fear I would watch movies and old TV shows 24/7. Sure we break the rule once in a while, but isn’t that what rules are for??? Bottom line, when I think about it, I think that the ‘living on less’ mantra is a huge misnomer.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Happy 14th Birthday Annika!


always a happy baby....nine months

One year



beginning preschool

Fourteen years ago today, our youngest, Annika was born.  She was seven weeks early, but she was a a pistol from the moment she arrived on the scene.  The nurses all adored her and would take funny polaroid shots of her when I wasn't able to be at the nursery.  I remember one nurse drew eyes with long, curly eyelashes on her eye covering 'glasses'.
Annika has had an interesting life.  She has an amazing self-awareness for a girl of 14.  She works very hard to be the healthiest girl she can be.  She is resilient.  I marvel at her assertiveness, something I honed in young adulthood.  Her courage may falter sometimes, but it is never far behind.  You will always know where you stand with her, always.
I am impressed with the way she has learned to instill healthy boundaries in different areas of her life.  If someone is not treating her fairly or nicely, she will assert herself in a bold, yet respectful way.  Even in preschool, her teachers told me that they appreciated how she would let them know if something wasn't working for her.
We don't know what the future holds for Annika.  We hope that the crippling anxiety she daily fights against, will continue to subside and she will be able to enjoy day to day life more and more.  For now, we are so proud of the progress she has made and continues to make.  It has been a journey, but I can honestly say that I am happy and proud to be her mother.  She is a very loving child who has so much to offer the world around her.  As I sit and type this now, I can hear her laughing with some friends upstairs.  She has had crossed another major hurdle, having an overnight birthday party with several friends and ENJOYING EVERY MINUTE of it.  I just praised her for her accomplishment of enduring her party without even ONCE coming to me and telling me she had to talk to me alone for a minute so that she could relay the stress and anxiety and panic she was feeling.  AMAZING! 
Happy Birthday Annika!  We love you!

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

What do you use that for?

I just returned from the grocery store.  I had to pick up a few last minute things for Annika's 14th birthday party this afternoon.  (Have I ever mentioned that kids' birthday parties are not my thing??? different day, different entry).  Anywho.  I was at the store picking up the last minute goodies which I believe bring me VERY close to a grand total of $1k for this darn birthday (no just kidding).  I remembered that I needed some Cumin so I headed to the spice aisle.   First off, I have a very large spice cupboard.  I do not believe in only using salt and pepper and maybe some generic 'seasoning'.  I enjoy using a variety of spices in a variety of ways.  That being said I HATE to pay for them.  I love it when something I need can be found on the 'Hispanic Foods' aisle..pequeno dinero.  Today I found something new in my hunt for Cumin.  I found a bottle, correction, a rather large bottle of something marked 'Soul Seasoning'.  I almost bought it.  I am still wondering what EXACTLY is 'soul seasoning'?  Then again, I also still wonder what really is 'oriental flavor'??

Thursday, November 4, 2010

DiAnne

I just got off the phone from talking to my high school bff, Anna.  Anna called to tell me that her mother had died.  I was shocked to hear the news.  I knew DiAnne had never taken care of herself, but I also figured that her ornery nature would keep her alive forever.  Anna was there at the end of her life and said it was peaceful. 
After I hung up I started thinking about DiAnne.  I have to chuckle a little to myself as I type only her first name.  As Anna's peer, I was NEVER allowed to call her by her first name.  Instead, I was to always refer to her as 'Mrs. Conrad'.  She explained to me early on that she was not MY friend, by my friend's mother.  I respected this, although I always found it a little odd.  My Mother HATED to be called 'Mrs. Crosno' by my friends.  She always insisted on a first name basis, saying that when she heard 'Mrs. Crosno' it made her cringe a bit thinking she was being confused with her mother-in-law, THE Mrs. Crosno.
DiAnne was an interesting woman.  In her later years she became a recluse and very rarely, if ever, left her home.  Her daughters would bring her anything she needed.  She died in the same house that I had spent so many hours in during my high school years.  Most of the time in Anna's room, which was the only place in the house that was truly clean.  Or outside.  We spent a LOT of time outside.  When temperatures allowed, we loved to sleep outside under the stars.  The house is in a rural area, with a small pond in the back and large willow trees that rustle slightly in the breeze.  If I close my eyes, I can still smell the lawn and hear the trees and Anna's horses talking in the distance.  Oh and the old turkey, pecking and scratching and warbling.
Before retiring, DiAnne nearly worked herself to death.  She worked long hours at an apple industry job.  I think she was a fruit broker, although I honestly can't remember her title.  I do know that she would leave early in the mornings and would return exahusted at the end of the day.  She would enter the house, change into a long zipped robe, lay down on the couch and crack into her pack of Pall Malls.  She would lay on that couch, watching tv, chain smoking her cancer sticks, and would only get up to fix herself what she referred to as a 'Pepsi Plus'.  This was my first real time exposure to someone who ingested alcohol on a regular basis.  Generally, she would fix her first Pepsi Plus of the evening and after that, Anna would be called on to refill.  I know you are wondering what is a Pepsi Plus?  You take a can of Pepsi, open it, dump out a significant portion and then refill the can with Black Velvet.  mmmmmmmm...NOT.
Mrs. Conrad was quite colorful, especially after she downed a few Pepsi Pluses.  For some reason she liked me.  I was about the only one of Anna's friends that was allowed in the house on a regular basis.  I'm not sure why.  Maybe because I never talked back, or always greeted her as Mrs. Conrad.  I obeyed her rules even though some seemed strange to me.  One in particular, we were never allowed to drink the soda pop that was in the house, that was her stash. 
On Friday nights, I was often there and we would get ready together before going to football games or other activities.  I will NEVER forget what she used to say when we would emerge, ready to head out.
'You girls look (or smell) like whores going to war!' said with raspy, somewhat slurred speech. 
Anna, would always 'oh mom', and off we would go.  The first time she did it I was shocked.  You have to remember:  a) my parents NEVER drank, b) my mother would NEVER use such language, whenever my mom would get REALLY upset and try to use colorful language or curse words, she would never use them properly--it was really quite hillarious, although she never saw the humor in it when we would correct her verbiage and c) my mother would never lay around in her bathrobe in front of my friends.  To this day, Anna and I still chuckle when we remember the 'whores going to war' exclamation.  Surprisingly it didn't emotionally scar us!  We found it hysterical.
The last time I saw DiAnne was when I went back to Yakima for my 20th high school reunion.  She still had that contagious cackle.  The years had not been good to her and Anna cringed when she realized her Mom was greeting us without her teeth in.  It didn't bother me, it was refreshing in a strange way.  She was comfortable with who she was and didn't care what anyone thought of how she looked or how she lived.  While many wouldn't understand how she lived her life, I for one am glad that I had just a small glimpse of her life.  I gained a different perspective from that relationship.  It wasn't pretty on many levels, but I always knew exactly what she was thinking and where I stood with her, and for a teenage girl, that is always appreciated.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Thinking of the Yucatan

This past weekend, I was going thru our 2010 Yucatan pictures.  I had hoped to be able to go down again this fall, but with November 1 rolling around, and no plane ticket bought, I think that is not going to happen.  While I don't know how I could fit it in, I would have really enjoyed going again.  I hope we will be able to go again next summer.  Again, time will tell.  For now, we enjoy getting e-mails from Jacobo and the occasional picture, or two.  Sometimes I think people wonder why I love it so much down there.  Some have commented to me 'oh I could never do that' when I mention sleeping in a hammock with geckos overhead.   Bottom line, I LOVE THE PEOPLE.  Their smiles, their hugs, their displays of true emotion, I can't get enough of it. 
Of course I love the warm sun, but there are definitely things that I would never be able to overlook here at home, that I have no problem overlooking when I am there.  Examples?  First one that comes to mind is the lack of toilet seats, for some reason they seem to be in short supply in the Yucatan.  Here at home I would never tolerate having to hover over the brim, but there I do no problem, reminding myself that I am building thigh muscles as I perch over the open bowl.  On a related topic, the stinky garbage can next to each and every toilet.  Remember, you can put nothing in the toilet that doesn't come out of your body...the septic/sewage system can't handle it.  This leads to a most unpleasant refuse container, which in most public restrooms seems to always be OVERFLOWING with debris.  mmmmmm, NOT.  Taking cold showers.  To own and use a hot water heater is a luxury.  At home, I have a complete hissy if someone turns the water on while I am taking my shower and the temperature plummets.  In contrast, this last trip, our host offered to light their water heater for us and I declined. I found I didn't care if I took a cold shower.  WEIRD, since I am usually the one who exits the shower with a red back from the scalding water I like to stand under.
We still dream of one day being able to live down there.  We don't know if God will want us down there or someplace else.  Only He knows.  For now, we know that we need to be here, and that is ok too.  I have my memories, my pictures, and future trips to plan.  Under the heading of 'People', I wanted to share a few of my favorite pics from this summer's trip:




















Saturday, October 30, 2010

The Deal Breaker

The other night I was at book club when we got in a discussion about deal breakers. The main character in the book we were discussing had listed those things that were so loathsome to him, that if when he met someone they possessed any of these traits, he dismissed all possibility of forming a relationship with that person. The question was asked, ok, so what is YOUR deal breaker? The conversation took an amazing turn and soon our laughter bordered on hysteria.

Our book club consists of a variety. Me, the old married woman with grown (or almost grown) children. Younger moms of small children, young wives, and young single women. (Did you catch that I am the oldest–uh huh...I’m learning to embrace it!). Obviously with the diversity that is in our group we were going to have some definite differences in what our deal breakers were. Obviously some of us are out of the dating scene. I was having a hard time trying to think of what my deal breaker was until one of the women shared that she had once dated a man who had recently won a school bus driving competition. That was it! Something to start my deal breaker list–must not enter school bus driving competitions for entertainment! There, I came up with one.

From that point I could come up with several–IF I was young and single. I think the list would look something like this:


1. Must not live with his Mother.


2. Must have a full-time job that does not result in the creation of stinky laundry.


3. Must not wear jeans with a waist size that is smaller than mine.


4. Must not have any facial tattoos


5. Must only ingest garlic at the same time as me


6. Must have access to facilities for regular bathing and use said facilities on a regular basis


There, I think that is enough.  Oh and for the record...I LOVE my new book club.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Ode to Kirt.

Our oldest daughter, Kirsten (aka Kirt, aka Bif), is in the midst of her high school senior year.  She has started the flurry of applications.  College applications, scholarship applications, job applications.  She is also thoroughly enjoying being 17.  She makes us laugh on a daily basis.  So much life.  Not that she doesn't have her dark moods sometimes, but I am learning to just leave her be when I sense those.  I think what I love the most about her is that she is not intimidated to just be herself.  She has no problem making a total goof of herself.  If people think she is strange, she could care less.  She is serious when she needs to be, but at times she also can still play like a 5 year old.  I hope that part never changes.  I was looking thru her pictures from this year, and wanted to share a few.  I think you will get idea of Kirsten's fantastic spirit when you look at these shots:


last spring, but still part of her 'Year 17'
 

This was last spring.  I would venture a guess to say the one thing she DOESN'T like about being a senior is that Marcus is away at college.





she is beginning to enjoy spending time with Annika...not ALL the time, but it is nice to see them do things together.




High School Spirit Week, each day a dress-up.  She is on ASB so she gladly uses the official excuse to go crazy:


'Fashion Disaster Day', with our 'other daughter' Erika

Media Day--Dressed as Maverick and Ice Man

80s Day...and yes, that belt was mine in 1985!


Blue & White Day--Erika and Lynea told her that she looked like a pirate.


I think that hands down this is the most creative way to ask someone to go to Tolo.


Which led to them deciding what else they could spell with T-O-O-L...and a little harmles prank ensued...

She LOVES to go hiking with Cleetus (aka Erika)


and sometimes Lynea gets to go too...


This picture CRACKS.ME.UP....Kirsten is never far from her Burts Bees chapstick...its a little OCD.



I am going to miss that face when she heads to college next fall!