Friday, June 22, 2012

I am the parent of a college graduate—how did THAT happen?

Two weeks ago this Friday, we headed to Seattle to celebrate Seattle Pacific University’s 2012 spring graduation.  What was different about this year’s graduation is that our oldest, Joshua, was graduating with his Bachelor of Arts degree in Cultural Studies/Linguistics.   In the weeks and days leading up to this weekend of event, we didn’t have a lot of time to process what exactly Joshua’s graduation meant to us as a family.  We had not taken time to process the impact of this event on us as parents.  At some point during that celebratory weekend though, it hit both Dean and I.  Our parenting days to Joshua were finished, he was now officially an adult.   You go through this a little bit when your kid graduates from high school, but college graduation takes it the last final step.  With college graduation comes the severing of those last financial ties.  No more completing the FAFSA for Joshua’s college funding eligibility--if he wants to go further in school, that will be up to him, our days of negotiating a college financial package on his behalf  are finished.  Time to switch his auto insurance into his and his name only.  Same with the cell phone.  My name can come off of his bank account and the list goes on.  Even more so than that, our days of dispensing unsolicited advice on his life  now switch to dispensing only solicited advice on his life.  Ok, well that one may be a little hard for me, but I have been impressed with how well I am doing in this area—I’m pretty good until it comes to keeping my mouth shut about the length of his hair, or his wardrobe choices (I’m sorry he has SO many nice clothes in his closet, does he HAVE to be so fond of his beat up Old Navy cargo shorts and t-shirts?)  Then of course, there is the BIG MOVE.  He has been coming and going from our home for 22 years, but in 2 months he will make the final move from calling our home his permanent primary residence to designating his OWN address as his permanent primary residence.   I’m ready for all of these things as a parent, but that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t feel a little strange sometimes.  I know that my job as his Mother was to raise him to be confident and ready for these transitions.   Watching him the past two weeks since graduation, I feel secure in my job being done.  I might even go so far as to say that Dean and I have completed a “job well done”.  Our son is a happy, confident (yet not cocky), empathetic, insightful young man who is ready to make decisions and live with the consequences whatever those may be.   Dean and I never quit marveling to each other at how much more confident Joshua is in WHO he is than we were at his age.  We may not always agree with each of his decisions or choices, but he owns every one of them and so we find it much easier to  step back and make room for Joshua to continue to forge his own path.
Before I post pictures from graduation weekend (sorry folks some of these were posted on Facebook already), I will address the burning question that we have been asked a lot:  ‘so what is Joshua planning to do after her graduates?’.   Joshua’s plan is pretty simple.  He is currently looking for a job that will pay his bills for the next 12-14 months.  This process has included applications to such grand establishments as Ross and Target.  He has also started the process to volunteer with the local Literacy Council where he plans to work with tutoring adults whose primary language is not English.  On September 1, he will marry his girlfriend of many years, Evy.  After they are married, they plan to live in Bellingham until Evy graduates from Western Washington University next June.  If all goes as they hope, in 12-14 months they will leave our area for parts unknown to serve in the Peace Corps.  After that, only time will tell.
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Starting off the events…off to the traditional ivy cutting ceremony.  
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Procession--what did I tell you about the hair?  It looked like a lion’s mane.
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Yeah!!  He found us in the crowd..something hilarious about watching all these young adults trying desperately to find their loved ones in the crowd before they sat down.
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Graduation organizers estimated there was over 13,000 people at Key Arena that day to celebrate!
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SO mad I got this so blurry…I failed!  He was just on his way to cross the stage and receive his empty diploma folder.  The other pictures of his receiving his diploma are even worse.  Darn.

I love this next series of pictures…they all enjoy each other so much:
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James and Kirsten didn’t mean to match..it just sort of happened.
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Big brothers are so annoying….
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