Book Club Failure

I enjoy being in a book club, I just feel that I am a bit of a book club failure.  I have good intentions.  After we meet, I pick up the next month's book.  It sits on my nightstand.  For the first two weeks, I generally don't crack the cover.  Then I begin to panic.  I need to get that book done!  So the third week I pick up the book repeatedly, look at the cover, read the jacket flaps, flip thru a few pages, and then I make it half way thru the first chapter.  Then, I fall asleep.

Now I am down to the last week of the cycle and I.MUST.FINISH.BOOK.  I took the book along this weekend for our little 23rd anniversary getaway.  The word 'getaway' is a little deceiving, we checked into a fabulous hotel that is about 35 minutes from home.  We were too exausted to put any more thought into  planning for an anniversary weekend.  We had a gift certificate to said hotel (check) and when I checked in we received a complimentary upgrade to a gorgeous suite (check) and I had packed wine, cheese, crackers, veggies, rum and mixers.  (check, check, check, check).  I was all set to sit and read my book.

I made it past the first chapter and the second and the third.  In fact I have made it almost 3/4 of the way thru the book.  I was feeling pretty smug.  After all I have plenty of time to finish and I think I just might be able to attend this month's Book  Club guilt free.  I don't have to feign that I have read the entire thing...I am getting pretty good at reading portions from the beginning, middle and end of books during those months where I just can't seem to stay awake long enough to actually get thru the ENTIRE thing.  Yup, I was feeling P-R-E-T-T-Y!P-R-O-U-D!  I even decided that I could break from my reading to peruse a magazine.

My euphoria continued right up to the point where Dean picked up my book.

Dean:  'Book Club?'

Me:  'Yes'

Dean:  'Why does it say on the cover 'Young Reader's Condensed Version?'

Me:  'WHAAAATTTTTTT????'

Apparently the REAL book has 576 pages...my 'young reader's version' has only 250.  Shhhhhhhh, I'm not going to tell...