I’m tired of the anger. Lately it seems that a lot of people have a short fuse. Tempers flare at just a few spoken words. Fewer people seem to buy into the philosophy that if you want to have others respect your right to have your own opinion, you need to acknowledge someone else’s right to have an opinion contrary to yours. I am the type of person that loves to discuss things. I love to share ideas and thoughts. I appreciate when someone has an opinion and they have put actual thought behind that opinion. I enjoy listening to others views and sentiments.
There are several ‘hot bed’ topics in today’s society. One of these, health care reform (I still don’t know what that really means), generates controversy no matter what your personal appraisal of the matter reveals. People get hostile. Conversations about health care reform have a way of turning ugly quickly. Name-calling has ensued. Violence has erupted. It seems more and more people have dug their proverbial heels in and refuse to let anyone have an opinion contrary to their own.
Recently my son got into a debate with a former classmate regarding this subject. My son questioned why enabling access to health insurance for some who can’t currently obtain it was the equivalent of ‘flushing our country down the drain’. Things turned ugly quickly. The classmate began calling my son names, telling him he was brainwashed and confused and didn’t understand anything. Finally, my son told his classmate that he was ending the discussion, that as long as his classmate refused to respect his right to have a contradictory opinion the conversation was going to go nowhere. I was very proud of him and the way he handled the situation. He remained calm and rational.
This type of exchange, between the young man refusing to acknowledge my son’s right to a differing opinion and the resulting name-calling, is systemic in our country right now. Most want things their way, even if their way may be harmful to others. Most are disinterested in relinquishing anything. Most don't want to give anything either. The 3 Musketeers doctrine of ‘all for one and one for all’ is alien to most. Some might even call this Musketeer Doctrine socialist or communist. I don’t understand when we became a society that views helping others, and sharing the extra that we may have been blessed with, as wrong.
Now, don’t misinterpret what I am trying to convey. I am not a ‘Polly Anna’. I understand the economic fears and potential realities of the proposed changes. I know that there are flaws in systems and ideas to change those systems. What I wonder is why can’t more try to see the other’s perspective? When did we become the society that does only the things that we want to? How will we ever begin to bridge the gap between the two sides if we aren't willing to take a step toward each other?
I know that our family is going to consider factors that others haven’t encountered when it comes to health care reform. We have been blessed to always have health insurance coverage. While we bemoan the insurance company often, at the end of the day we still have coverage. Even with that insurance coverage, the last 5 years our family has been faced with tens of thousands of dollars in uninsured medical expenses. We have experienced our insurance company tell us we have coverage, only to later be denied subsequent claims because we failed to send in a form, or make a phone call, they neglected to tell us we needed. That little denial cost us big time. We will be paying that off for years. These experiences have led our family to wonder what would we do if we didn’t have any insurance? Where would we be? What choices would we have to make? We once had someone tell us that his family didn’t really need to ever go to the doctor, so why should he be penalized, thru perhaps higher taxes or higher premiums, for our family’s chronic medical issues. I was saddened and hurt by the coldness of his statements. I don’t think he understands that it is merely by the grace of God his family isn’t touched by chronic health issues. They may be in the future. No one chooses this path for themselves or their families.
I’m not sure what the answer is. I just know that I will continue to work at respecting others’ right to have an opinion that may be contrary to mine. That doesn’t mean I have to back down and agree with them. That doesn’t mean I won’t think that they are dead wrong. I will remind myself that if I want someone to respect my right to have an opinion, I just have to be willing to listen. Because if I show I can listen, maybe they will listen to me too, and maybe we will find common ground.
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