I am going to skip Memory Monday today. I’m not into it today. I am not into it today because I am very concerned about a good friend of ours.
We have a friend that is going thru a difficult time right now. This friend has stood by us in some pretty dark times. He and his wife are very giving people. They have devoted their lives to service and to others. We look up to them and their example and they have taught us a lot.
We live in a small town. There are advantages to that and there are disadvantages. I can’t help but think that his difficult time wouldn’t be so difficult if we didn’t live in a small town
Our small town is beautiful. Most keep their lawns neat and trimmed. Houses gleam and pride of ownership is definitely on display on every block. Unfortunately, I feel that sometimes along with that pride comes a level of piety. Unfortunately, I also feel that at times many are merely hiding behind a perfect facade, afraid to let people see them ‘warts and all’. I feel that many hide behind that facade and yet are all too quick to divert attention to others when they may stumble or trip.
Our friend is someone who works in a public position. While on the one hand I understand that we expect more out of those that stand in front for all to see, on the other hand I am annoyed that we seem to forget that they are human just like we are. Just because someone signs on to be in the public eye, does it mean that they have to be better than we are? Does that mean that they are not allowed to make mistakes? Does that mean that they aren’t allowed to have any privacy?
On numerous occasions our friend has publicly said that he is no better than anyone else. He has often shared his shortcomings and struggles. Sometimes he has been criticized for being too human. Some forget that he, like all of us, is entitled to have a bad day, to be grumpy, maybe occasionally bite someone’s head off. We forget that he is someone’s son, brother, cousin, uncle, father and husband. He is flawed, just like the rest of us. I also know him to be one to apologize quickly if a wrong is called to his attention.
So how do you treat those that are in the public eye when they stumble on the crack in the sidewalk? Our friend made a mistake. No one was hurt, no property was damaged or destroyed. Honestly, it was an error that I know many of us could make just as easily. But it didn’t happen to one of us, it happened to him and because of that, suddenly there seems to be a lot of self-appointed judges and jurors out there. There also seems to be a lot out there that think they have some inside track on damning information. I am saddened (and scared to death at the same time) of some of the things that I have heard. People are all too eager to push their way to the ‘inside loop’. Some seem ready to condemn based on very limited hearsay.
Our friend is going thru a difficult time. It is a very lonely time when you learn who your true friends are. It is a very lonely time when you are facing a challenge and those that you thought were your friends are suddenly questioning your word. We have been there. We have been there when we made ourselves vulnerable and shared honestly, only to have some come back and think the worst in us, to think that we would be lying to them. I know in the past I have been guilty of this too and I am ashamed of myself for that. I hope that I have learned to always give others the benefit of the doubt unless there are clear-cut reasons to not; and by clear-cut I don’t mean hearsay. By clear-cut I mean that I have seen it with my own eyes, or experienced it first hand–not based on information that someone told someone.
We make mistakes; correction EVERYONE makes mistakes. We need to remind ourselves of that everyday. All have sinned and fallen short, but thru grace we can find a way to accept forgiveness, learn from our mistakes and move on. We all need to do our part. Sometimes our part is as simple as telling another who is going thru a difficult time, ‘its alright, you are not alone’. Sometimes it is telling someone to think before they speak or question another, after all what if it were THEM? How would they hope people would react? My guess is they would hope that people would look at their track record and if warranted give them the benefit of the doubt. There are always going to be those of us who aren’t able to show grace to another. I guess I need to remind myself to pray for those that seem set on ‘digging up dirt’ on another just to satisfy something deep within themselves. In those circumstances, I am never sure of the motivation. Perhaps denial and diversion?
I hope our friend will get thru this without having his integrity, reputation and name tarnished beyond repair. It is a tough time for him. It has been made more difficult by actions of those that should be supporting him. I ache for him and I will continue to pray that cooler heads prevail and realize how damaging their doubt can be. I know I will fight for them and stand behind them. After all, isn’t that what a friend does?
No comments:
Post a Comment